Friday, October 31, 2008

jackasses & Jackshit!!



People are jackasses. I mean… not you and me, the others.
Like for example the ones who are working at the dental product manufacturing companies. Have you looked at the toothpaste tube cover recently?? If it says anything…any claim whatsoever…it is backed up with a check mark.

Yup! It’s not enough that there’s one guy thinking up the lists of benefits of the toothpaste…
Keeps breath clean.
Fights plaque.
Minty cool breath guaranteed.
12 hour germ guard.
There’s another guy who apparently seems to check the list! Coz there’s always a series of tick marks …before or after every point of endorsement!!??!!

Then they think just coz they are dumb…we are just as dumb. Have you ever looked at the starbucks coffee cup. It says nothing more intellectually insulting than, “the contents of this cup may be hot”.



I mean duh…if its not hot n its my coffee…dude I want my money back or a nip in the microwave damn it!!!!

How about those guys at the office who yell at us when we push their swivel chairs down the corridor real fast??!!!

I mean common the goddamn thing has wheels…and the last time I checked wheels are to speed things up a bit! Ok ok…maybe I’ve gone too far…but you get my drift don’t you?!

Ooh n how about those times at a restaurant…someone next to you tastes something n squeals…”yeeuck!! This is awful!! Just awful!” n they promptly stretch it out right at you, wide eyed…saying “taste it” I mean are you retarded??!!! Or deaf…or blind! Do you think I missed the hit-me-in-the-face signs of this shit is SHIT!!! N you think I’ll taste it….but then …we’re stupid…we taste it…n yeah promptly pass it on to the next guy….here tatse this…its awful…go on see how disgusting it is!! 

Then there’s the inevitable…u knw when u’v got the sniffles…n a wheezy voice…n some Einstein in office asks you…what’s wrong?? N u sneeze out…’flu’ secretly wishing that the sneeze was acidic and scars them (ok …again I’ve gone too far..but like I said you get my point ;-) ) n then Einstein being Einstein will come right back at you with the all knowing dumbass nod and say “oh yeah…that’s going around!” I mean is it realllly?? Coz how is it that every single time of the year I have a flu I always get the..”oh yeah it’s going around” ?? is ALWAYS going around?

N yeah that kinda also explains my absence this past month n a bit..the sniffles…actually a bit more than just the sniffles!! AACHHHOOOO!

13 comments:

humbl devil said...

guess everybody's under the damn flu spell!!!
acchhoooo
:(

Scribblers Inc said...

aah...get well soon dearios!:D

Scribblers Inc.

P.S.-In case you already havent that is!!

Karthik Murali said...

its a "Caveat emptor" world girl !

Jay El Bird said...

seems there has been a dearth of shit, asses, et all since october said goodbye (to november) ... and roses are in short supply, as are get well cards (hope the apple is not helping the doctor) ... one awaits thine musings ...

Jay El Bird said...

seems there has been a dearth of shit, asses, et all since october said goodbye (to november) ... and roses are in short supply, as are get well cards (hope the apple is not helping the doctor) ... one awaits thine musings ...

Rushabhh Gandhi said...

Whoe....
owesome.....
i laughed my heart out...

loll i felt like... i need to meet this person...

this line:People are jackasses. I mean… not you and me, the others.
the beginning itself where in you're common so in no point you gonna be a jackass but else then me who reads this post..considers me to be a jackass and still i read the whole of it...lollzz loll...lol....

Anonymous said...

"contents Hot" is insulting ? Intellectually ?
wow!
Do you want a heat diffusin instead ?
there are lots of types of coffees, hot and cold - shud know more before you write.

$mit@ said...

@ mr. i'm too spineless to have an opinion n yet share my identity - (anonymous) - well...the very point was that ...if u order the coffee you damn well know if you ordered hot or cold!!! but then ur probably the exact kind of numbskull they put the warning messages there for...wow..it must hurt to be that dumb!! i wish you luck and hope you grow that spine real fast...coz your brain is evidently deficient too!!
@ everyone else above...thanks for keepin the humour...n lovin it!!

Karthik said...

Lol! Totally agree about the opinions on food! Sucks when you actually think it is kinda good & the person with you thinks it is made of saw-wood!! :)

nefariousoutlook said...

hope you are better now :)

and a hilarious post :)

seriously_frivolous said...

ha! I see a lot of me in your writing...I used to wonder too about the star bucks coffee message or ones on tooth paste...especially loved the one that says vegetarian tooth paste...Ya right people..otherwise I prefer ham in my tooth paste

Beena said...

long time .... no see...
bs

beena said...

That donkey needs to brush his teeth. haha
bs