Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Balls to Balding!!!

Balding. The mass exodus of hair follicles from the hairline marching determinedly on… to the shower drain. (yes you end up paying the maid extra to unclog the drain in the bathroom…n yes u r welcome Jaishribai!)
Sorry if I scared you off the shower regime for a month or so. I’m sure Pantene hair fall control should give you enough ammo to get you back in.
My husband tends to obsess about a receding hairline…which isn’t even true (coz he has the nicest, healthiest hair I have ever seen...n i'm not sayin that just coz we share bedrooms!) …so no surprise why he married a fiction writer! :-)

Well I thought I’d do some thinking. On what it is that makes most Indian men shrivel at the thought of the sun bouncing off their shiny heads. (yes guys… at the risk of sounding sexist I must point out that studies show more men buying ‘parachute therapie’ than women!)

Here’s what I came up with

1. Well for starters the terribly scorching “oh I’m gonna die of heat stroke” sun in India can’t make it any more comfortable for you when you’re also losing hair. Precious hair.
(yes and u can blame it on Chennai’s pleasantly hellish climate right now that brought that first point racing to my mind.)

2. Then there’s also the fact that Indian women do not necessarily appreciate a shiny head and not solely because it steals the glory of their shining tresses! We Indian women are not as experimental as our western counterparts. If you wish to debate let me first put before you a reinforcing insight from Bollywood. How many hot actors are there in Bollywood who do not sport luscious locks? Ummm let me count now….ummm yes Akshay Khanna…(n in all honesty I’m not even sure how much I’m pushin it by counting him in ‘hot actors’ anyway let alone ‘lacking locks’…yeah I’ve heard he doesn’t like that dig too much…I wonder if its coz its true?? Hmm)
Ok so our count was stuck at ummmm…1 and comes to a whopping close at ….1 !!
Now turning my long healthy haired head towards Hollywood (sorry, call me weak but I couldn’t resist that dig :-) ) there’s Bruce Willis, Sean Connery, Edward Norton, then that guy from JAG..the admiral…
really hot…but forgot his name ...hey come on…why am I even doing this…didn’t this list start with Bruce Willis..?? That’s a 1000 point lead in itself…so I rest my case.

3. You don’t get that boost of height increase ...u know from the mop of hair. (I tell people all the time that I’m 5’4’’ coz I do my hair up in a bit of puffy style when I’m feelin way to0 below the average Indian height scale!)
So anyway when you don’t have the advantage of hair to boost you height …
you sometimes take to other means!

Ok before I depress you further…I’ll cut these point sand give you a sparkle of hope… here are some good points on balding…

1. People… people...I’m being told that bald is the new black…
There are people who shave their heads n get ‘crowned’ as hip Eg.

2. There are also those who get treated real special for being bald…

yeah how about the Bald Eagle huh?? getting all those one ups on them regular eagles??

3. Then there's just some who get away lookin all cute n confused...just coz their bald. You know raised eyebrows...scratchin their shiny heads...n wham they're out of a tight spot...just with that "oh im so so bald...remember 'chicken little'?

4. Then there's also the aspect of how it helps you concentrate on other assets...

Anyway I’m bored now…wouldn’t want to split any more hairs on this topic coz after all people what’s ‘hair’ today…is gone tomorrow!

Isn't that what the headache's all about??

So let’s just say balls to balding!! Hubby dear take a listen/lesson please!