Friday, October 31, 2008

jackasses & Jackshit!!

People are jackasses. I mean… not you and me, the others.
Like for example the ones who are working at the dental product manufacturing companies. Have you looked at the toothpaste tube cover recently?? If it says anything…any claim whatsoever…it is backed up with a check mark.

Yup! It’s not enough that there’s one guy thinking up the lists of benefits of the toothpaste…
Keeps breath clean.
Fights plaque.
Minty cool breath guaranteed.
12 hour germ guard.
There’s another guy who apparently seems to check the list! Coz there’s always a series of tick marks …before or after every point of endorsement!!??!!

Then they think just coz they are dumb…we are just as dumb. Have you ever looked at the starbucks coffee cup. It says nothing more intellectually insulting than, “the contents of this cup may be hot”.

I mean duh…if its not hot n its my coffee…dude I want my money back or a nip in the microwave damn it!!!!

How about those guys at the office who yell at us when we push their swivel chairs down the corridor real fast??!!!

I mean common the goddamn thing has wheels…and the last time I checked wheels are to speed things up a bit! Ok ok…maybe I’ve gone too far…but you get my drift don’t you?!

Ooh n how about those times at a restaurant…someone next to you tastes something n squeals…”yeeuck!! This is awful!! Just awful!” n they promptly stretch it out right at you, wide eyed…saying “taste it” I mean are you retarded??!!! Or deaf…or blind! Do you think I missed the hit-me-in-the-face signs of this shit is SHIT!!! N you think I’ll taste it….but then …we’re stupid…we taste it…n yeah promptly pass it on to the next guy….here tatse this…its awful…go on see how disgusting it is!! 

Then there’s the inevitable…u knw when u’v got the sniffles…n a wheezy voice…n some Einstein in office asks you…what’s wrong?? N u sneeze out…’flu’ secretly wishing that the sneeze was acidic and scars them (ok …again I’ve gone too far..but like I said you get my point ;-) ) n then Einstein being Einstein will come right back at you with the all knowing dumbass nod and say “oh yeah…that’s going around!” I mean is it realllly?? Coz how is it that every single time of the year I have a flu I always get the..”oh yeah it’s going around” ?? is ALWAYS going around?

N yeah that kinda also explains my absence this past month n a bit..the sniffles…actually a bit more than just the sniffles!! AACHHHOOOO!