maybe dogs can drive?

My brother in law recently discovered his driving license wasn’t as up to date as he or the traffic policeman, who caught him, would have liked it to be. The event of the expired license has him now prepping for his driving test.
The topic had me thinking…why these tests are more often than not considered a drag.
Well first of all for most of us superior intellect (or so we like to presume) individuals when there’s someone honking in the rear…or generally making a nuisance of themselves on the road we usually look into the rear view mirror thinking…

ASS!

Add to that the numerous mundane…
And perhaps not so mundane ...see below (I mean seriously what the hell does this road sign mean anyway??!! “Slow down…jack the ripper’s takin his overgrown kid to school??”)
road signs.

I like the idea of clear signs that are easy to interpret. Like these for example…


Now since we are on the topic of road signs…this one I find particularly helpful for all those expressways in India trying (in vain) to keep the non-four wheeler schmuck off!

Some signs perhaps when I am driving past...really fast (I swear I’m not rhyming on purpose!) I could misread…

wrong way???

But when it comes to signs….some basic ones really do the trick…



??? I mean what was this guy thinking?? That’s some high expectations from bulls! I mean first you expect them to read…n then also to keep out!?

All said and done I think this young enthusiasts being a little too hopeful if he thinks he’s about to get through a driving test…but then if bulls can read then maybe dogs can drive!

Reminds me of a rubics!

I like something about the rubics cube. All those colours in all that disorder…kind of reminds you of a kid that’s got the spunk enough to mess around with the art teacher’s palette. Didn’t you just hate it when they used to tell you, “Ok then, fill in the yellow there…no no…the red goes here!” Well ask my mum to show you my arts n crafts project n you will see teddy bears with green ears and purple eyes. Yeah notice how its so much easier to be experimental as a child?
It was always so easy to say “hey look no hands!!” and hey presto…you’re doing something utterly reckless and irresponsible that could have you go crashing against a less than soft/blunt something and have your facial features rearranged!
When I could have the nerve to do that incessantly as a child (my mum’s grey hair stands testimony to that) then why is it that as an adult I can’t find it in me to surrender to marriage?
It involves the same levels of recklessness. Your facial features also get rearranged in turns by the beautician (yes it takes a lot to make me look presentable!) and the photographer (he thanks photoshop developers everyday)!
So now you’re wondering how I went from the rubics cube to the topic of marriage?

Well even if you’re not I’ll still tell you.

My unassuming readers the concept of marriage is nothing but a rubics cube in camouflage. The more you screw things up the more difficult it is to fix it!

Some people have it figured so easy and the others (read as me) are certain to take ummm…a realllly lllong time.

To Chennai ...with love!

Aaaah Chennai!! Well why ‘Life in a Metro’ was not based on Metro Chennai gets clarity in my head every passing day!
I have been in Chennai all of 15 days now and really although it might not seem so…I don’t have many complaints about the city. Only the sweltering heat that made my pores scream murder…the sweat smell…oops sweet smell of Chennai greeted me the second I stepped off the flight.
I was also always taught how sniggering at people and exchanging comments in a language alien to them is bad manners. I wonder how this was something that the people, in and around my residence, somehow managed to dodge from their parents teachings. My parents always ensured I had my manners to rote…but then again here I am blogging mean and anti communal comments!
Anyway getting back to where I was…whenever I leave the safety of my home I am subject to snigger snigger…tsk tsk...mumble jumble. In retrospect its quite entertaining for me coz it’s always nice to imagine your favourite cartoon characters in peoples contorted gossipy faces.
Ok now that I am dangerously close to convincing my readers that I don’t have a kind bone in me…I might as well tell you about what I do like about the city.
I can sum it up in one word…Ponnuswamy. No I am not fantasizing about a white mundu clad, handlebar mustached, pot bellied Tam Brahm (although now that I’v described him I wonder why not…sheer eye candy isn’t it!?)
I am however talking about a certain restaurant that specializes in the most delectable plant friendly (read as non vegetarian) cuisine. Chicken biryani is my staple diet and Ponnu’s restaurant better be extending me a heavy lifetime membership discount offer! But seriously it’s like the food there makes love to your taste buds and has you at climax by the time you swallow!

Oh n yeah about all the bad stuff I said at the outset…it cant be all that true coz I did bump into a Parsi family that had come down all the way from Cuffe Parade, Bombay to spend their Easter hols vacationing in Chennai! Surprisingly for me they looked as smug and satisfied as could be (but was that perhaps coz they were staying at the Taj Fisherman’s Cove Resort???)
Either way, I say cheers it is …to Chennai’s chicken!

s_P_ace

Push. Pull. Tug. Twist. Pinch. Punch.
(yeah and starbucks tells me 25th Jan is people Power day! Thought i'd pass that info on!)

Yeah so anyway...where was I?

hmm yeah...

Push. Pull. Tug. Twist. Pinch. Punch.

Phew!
Your in.
Ever heard of ‘sardines in a can’?! Well it takes on a new meaning for me every time I enter the 8.59am fast local.
Yes it’s evident by now…I am a Bombayite! The title is thrust upon me by a city that knows no better than to thrust. (tsk tsk…your mind is almost as filthy as the city's gutters!)
If you are standing…you are in the way. If you are sitting…you are in the way. If you are walking…well guess what…you’re still in the way! If you are running you just might make it.

I’m lucky I work at a graphic design studio. Yeah we aren’t almost half as caught up dress codes as other offices. So if my clothes get a beating (sorry ironing!) in the train…I can very well masquerade around the studio, as a style icon, flaunting my latest ‘artsy’ ensemble! Eat your heart out prisoners of the corporate dress code (read as my housemates!) For those of you who don't know...umm...they work for a bank! Ok so I am sleeping on the couch today...or whenever it is that they read this blog.
Now that I have come to terms with that fact...
honestly, I love the city. It gave me the opportunity to step into it (however tough it is to find a footstep of space!) It gave me the place I call my studio. Go in each day…pretend its work…when I am actually getting paid to do what I love…day after day after day. Bombay is the only city in the world that holds no pretence. It gives you exactly what you take from it! It’s unpredictable. It will mirror your mood…moment for moment. Eg:- your angry and hostile…well guess what…someone on the sidewalk will hit against you and bustle away!
You’re happeeee…a construction site workers kid on the corner smiles right back at you.
You’re late for work…yup the local trains are running late too…and yeah the taxi guy won’t budge either. Why? He has no space to move. His taxi. Its called a traffic jam!
But b.b.y I sure love b.om.b.a.y!!

LLLoud!

boredummmm

It hits most of us...almost as consistently as the regular monotony that defines it.

m followed by m ...after m...tells me i'm bored enough to start a blog. So happy birthday...here i am!

The few things in life that contribute to busting my boredummm...

1. the option of shuffle on my winamp! yup...my monotony is often broken by this kind and obliging application. thank you mr.software developer!

2. getting mugged on the sidewalk...n then managing to chase the bloke to get ...sorry PRY my phone back!

3. switching on the faucet and realizing a few water soaked moments later... that it was set to shower mode!




4. the taxi...2 cars ahead of you... in bumper to bumper traffic...going up in flames...hows that for spontaneous combustion??!!







5. unforseen speedbreakers when you are doing your most practiced walk...in front of the cafeteria...




6. ...ummm time to get back to work...so some more of these later...? ouch my back hurts...bananrama hmph!

mission admission!

Yup. Its that time of year...when from kindergarten aspirants to MBA wannabes ... everyone is flocking to get forms...fill them up..some (the former) with more help than the others (latter)!!!
hey hey...lets just back up a bit...I might be getting things a little wrong here...coz it has been my observation that the little kiddies in bloomers are taking about as much help for admissions as are post graduate candidates!
Being a writer myself, I am constantly approached by young students wanting me to compose essays cooking up narrations of their 'dreams', 'leadership experiences' and more!! Now if a 5 year old needed help with an admission form I can mostly comprehend that...them being the kinds who can't really even do much about their untied shoelaces without a hand and a half! But a 20 year old or worse a 25 year old with work experience...looking for a coveted harvard seat...incapable of putting down 250 words on why he wants to go there in the first place....now there I am stumped!
Why do I complain...I do get paid for it anyway?!